message in a bottle

July 22, 1997

My Dearest Catherine,

I miss you, my darling, as I always do, but today is especially hard because the ocean has been singging to me, and the song is that of our life together. I can almost feel you beside me as I write this letter, and I can smell the scent of wildflowers that always reminds me of you. But at this moment, these things give me no pleasure. Your visits have been coming less often, and I feel sometimes as if the greatest part of who I am is slowly sliping away.

Im trying though. At night when Im alone, I call for you, and whenever my ache seems to be the greatest, you still seem to find a way to return to me. Last night, in my dreams, I saw you on the pier near the Wrightsville Beach. The wind was blowing through your hair, and your eyes held the fading sunlight. I am struck as I see you leaning against the rail. You are beautiful, I think as I see you, a vision that i can never find in anyone else. I slowly begin to walk toward you, and when you finally turn to me, I noticed that others have been watching you as well. " Do you know her?"  they ask  me in jelous whispers, and as you smile at me, I simply answer with the truth. " Better than my own heart" .

  I stop when I reach you and take you in my arms.  I long for this moment more than any other. It is what I live for, and when you return my embrace, I give myself over this to you, at peace once again.

I raise my hand and gently touch your cheek and you tilt your head and close your eyes. My hand are hard and your skin is soft, and I wonder for a moment if you'll pull back, but of course you don't. You never have, and it is at times like this that I know what my purpose in life. 

I am here to love you, to hold you in my arms, to protect you. I am here to learn from you and to receive your love in return. I am here because there is no other place to be. 

But then, as always, the mist start to form as we stand close to one another. It is a distant fog that rises from the horizon, and I find that I grow fearful as it approaches. It slowly creeps in, enveloping the world around us, fencing us in as if to prevent escaoe. Like a rolling cloud, it blankets everything, closing, untill there is nothing left but the two of us. 

I feel my troat begins to close and my eyes well up with tears because I know it is time for you to go. The look ypu give me at that moment haunts me. I feel your sadness and my own loneliness, and the ache in my heart that had been silent for only a short tome grows stronger as you release me. And then you spread your armsand step back into the fog because it is your place and not mine. I long to go with you, but your only response is to shake your head because we both know that is imposibble.

And I watch with breaking heart as you slowly fade away. I find myself strainingto remember everything about you. But soon, always too soon, ypur image vanishes and the fog rolls back to its faraway place and I am alone on the pier and i do not care what other think as I bow my head and cry and cry and cry.

Garrett

message in a bottle- Nicholas Sparks